Homestuck Time Loops
by fantasyPhysicist
Summary: Yggdrasil, the computer that runs the multiverse, has been damaged. The Admins have set the various universes to Loop through time until the damage is repaired. Until then, the Loopers are free to run amok.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck, nor do I make any money off of it. So don't sue me.**

**UPDATE: Homestuck is now canonically Looping! Some changes had to be made, however, and as a result, every snip that was previously here had to be removed. However, there are now more people writing Homestuck Loops, so _snips will flow! _**

Rules of the Loops:

One person in a Loop, usually the main character, is chosen to be the Anchor. They are the first person to start looping through time.

There is always at least one Anchor present in any time loop, though it doesn't have to be the local one.

The standard pattern for a Loop is that the Anchor and anyone else Looping there come to awareness (they become Awake) at a certain point in the story. From there on, the Loop will play out as influenced by the Loopers, acting with their foreknowledge, until a certain point arrives and the Loop ends, or the Anchor dies.

To be Awake is to be aware of the time loops (that is, remembering you've gone back in time).

The Anchor is the only character guaranteed to be Awake for a Loop.

Crossovers, fusions, and alternate pasts can sometimes occur. For example, it's perfectly possible to Awaken in a Loop that conforms to a fanfiction instead of canon, or just a Loop that's different from the original timeline in general.

Loops don't have to be in chronological order, but it's preferred that it doesn't happen so that A has to be before B and B has to be before A.

Almost every Looper is very, very stir crazy.

* * *

1.1 (Leviticus Wilkes)

* * *

Zeus was not happy. The day had not been going well at all for him, and the root of the problem were two troublesome deities. Skuld was the bigger nuisance, the bitch that she was. She had round-house kicked him in the face for grabbing her ass. He was Zeus, him-dammit! He had exclusive rights to every female ass in the building.

The other was a less active, but more insidious breed of annoying. Kali's brat, Ganesha, had been making waves recently. First he wrangles a universe with an infinite multiverse, then he gets several (as he put it, 'troublesome') people looping, and now he'd gone and one-upped him by fixing Evangelion and activating new loopers! And he didn't even have the gal to gloat about it!

So Zeus was in his office, seething, and wondering how he could kill two stones with one bird. Being the idiot he was of course, he; A) did not realize that wasn't how the phrase went, and B) was drawing a massive blank.

His most recent plan, which had involved throwing Billy into Skuld's office and legging it, had somehow resulted in Skuld winning the lottery, patching up her relationship with her little sisters, and several stacks of paperwork mysteriously vanishing. He needed a new plan.

The proverbial light bulb in his head went off, flickered, and died, before reigniting permanently. "Of course. Why didn't I think of it before!" Zeus sat up from his obscenely large desk and bolted to a large filing cabinet of potential loops. Dusting one of the folders off, the king of the Greek gods laughed maniacally and left his room.

After hovering several floors to the left and bypassing the Le Ptomaine thruway, Zeus put on his best 'nice guy' smile, and knocked on the door to the cubicle he had arrived at. Ganesha, pesto sandwich lodged in his mouth, opened the door. "Hmm?"

Zeus handed Ganesha the file. "Direct from Skuld. She wants it looping by the end of the week. Tootles." Zeus skipped away, around a corner, and broke out laughing evilly. "Mwahhahaha!"

Back at his cubicle, Ganesha chewed and swallowed his pesto sandwich and looked at the file. He nearly had a heart attack. 'Skuld wants me to get HOMESTUCK looping!?'

For a moment, Ganesha stood there, staring at the file for what was perhaps the second most troublesome loop in the multiverse, weighing his options. He could either contest it at a meeting (in which case there was a good chance that Skuld would spend the entire meeting yelling at him for shirking his duties) or he could suck it up and try to get Homestuck looping. And this was assuming that Zeus wasn't trying to pull a fast one on him.

And Ganesha was certain that Zeus was trying to pull a fast one on him. The great remover of obstacles and god of new beginnings narrowed his eyes. 'If that's the game Zeus want's to play, then maybe it's time I beat him at it. You're on Zeus.'

...

Zeus was twirling a handlebar mustache he had grown for the occasion. It had been a whole week since anyone had heard from Ganesha, and Skuld had just gone through all of the bug reports she was supposed to get and noticed that the reports for Ganesha's loops were missing. Now he was following her to Ganesha's cubicle, under the pretense of seeing "how the poor man was doing". He was also really enjoying his new mustache.

Skuld, meanwhile, wasn't a moron. She knew that Zeus was up to something, and had every intention of ruining it for him. As such, she had preemptively decided to forgive Ganesha for not handing in his paperwork, even if it meant more work for her. It would be worth it to spite Zeus.

A polite knock at Ganesha's door though didn't cause it to open though, and loud banging did little to change the situation. Skuld frowned and tried the door knob, which worked, but no amount of turning and gentle pushing would open it. Skuld put her shoulder to the door and shoved hard, plowing a wide furrow in what appeared to be a foot thick layer of detritus. "What in the Void Realms..."

Ganesha, it appeared, had not left his cubicle for an entire week, and was currently holed up inside some sort of cocoon of candy wrappers. He appeared to be in a sort of coding hibernation. Skuld gulped and shook Ganesha's shoulder gently. "Uh... Ganesha? Ganny?"

"Huh. Wut? Huh..." Ganesha jolted awake, shaking his sleep addled head. "What I miss?"

"Your bug report." Skuld admitted. "But what I want to know is, when was the last time you left your cubicle?"

"Such a mess Ganesha. For shame," Zeus taunted.

Ganesha ignored Zeus and pointed at the screen. More specifically, the calendar date. "I think I left... maybe five days ago. Or something."

Skuld was quiet for a moment. "You know Ganesha, a number of disgusting questions spring to mind, but the one I want answer right now is 'why'."

Ganesha stared at Skuld, then stared at Zeus, and then stared at his screen. A key command later, a window was opened up.

World Designation: Homestuck.

Status: Looping

Anchor: John Egbert

Known Loopers: Dave, Rose, Jade

Stability: 88%

"That's why."

Jaws, suffice to say, dropped. Skuld tried to articulate a statement, and failed miserably. Zeus stared wide eyed for a moment, before fainting. Ganesha nodded in satisfaction. "It wasn't too hard. Just set up John's time changing powers to switch between a few pre-generated alternate timelines. Extensive Oroborus patching. Lord English and Jack Noir patched to prevent looping ever. Simple stuff.

"But but but but but." Skuld closed her eyes, focused, and spoke again. "The Genesis Frog."

"It's coded to have infinite mass and energy. Once it drops into a subspace pocket, it'll collapse into a black hole and kill the person who tried to steal it." Ganesha tapped his chin thoughtfully. "The multiple bodies situation was set up so that their souls are tied to a single body at any moment, and can switch within normal parameters. Souls moving into or between the afterlife maintain coherency. And I've also patched Andrew Hussie's code to keep him from looping, though he's loop Aware." Ganesha stared at his fingers. "That everything?"

"ss...Skaia...?"

Ganesha winked. "Funny thing about that. Apparently, the so called "exposed code" that was the Skaia protocol wasn't... well it wasn't really Skaia."

Skuld stared at Ganesha for a second, before violently forcing him to the side and rapidly hitting the computer keys of his terminal. The screen displayed something she had never thought possible.

'Yggdrasil Privilege List Updated. Skaia Protocol (Designation: Homestuck) Command Privileges Revoked. Skaia Protocol (Designation: Yggdrasil) Disengaged from Entity (Designation: Homestuck)'

Skuld slowly stepped away from the terminal and just stared, slack jawed and amazed, at Ganesha. The elephant man shrugged. "Apparently, Homestuck's Skaia Protocol had some operating privileges it wasn't supposed to. Yggdrasil confused it for it's own Skaia Protocol, and classified it as exposed code. Crazy, huh?"

"...yeah. That's crazy." Skuld leaned down, looked at Ganesha, and smiled. "You sir, get a promotion. And a paid vacation. With overtime." Skuld left the room skipping over Zeus's unconscious body. "No more Homestuck, no more Homestuck no more Homestuck..."

Ganesha kicked back, smiled slightly... and then realized that he would probably be attached as Homestucks' Admin. "Craaaaap..."

* * *

1.2 (Enderkiller77)

* * *

=== John: Wake up.

The morning breeze is nice today. The light swish of curtain fabric over slightly opened windows floats above you, your canopy of dreams beginning to fade in its autumn scent.

You groan, sitting up and stretching, a loud yawn and smack of your lips to show that you are indeed awake. The bed under you feels nice and you thank Jade for her excellent alchemization skills, it's nice and fluffy and it reminds you of home. With a rub to your eyes, you thrown off your covers and put your feet on the floor.

It's cold.

A frown appears on your lips, wasn't there a carpet there on the ship? Davesprite must be doing some stupid prank again, oh when you get him this time you'll...

Wait. Where are your god-tier clothes?

You squint at your legs and stomach, making out jeans and a white shirt. You try and take your glasses out of your sylladex to make sure you are seeing this right but nothing comes out. Another try, and... Nothing.

What the hell is going on?

Peering your eyes around you, you're able to make out more of the bed and your hand stumbles on it before finally grabbing glass and frame. Putting on your glasses is easy but whats not is the fact that the room you're in is not your room. Well, it is but it's not supposed to be yours anymore.

There's a table with a cake and an old poster on it. A note is there. A computer on a desk is in the other corner, chair and DVD shelf and all. The chest is there too, another cake lies on it, with a hammer and nails on the floor.

What.

=== Rose: Rise.

Unlike John, it's actually harder for you to get up in the mornings. Country to popular belief you are not an early riser, though years of perfect manipulation on your friends and a facade of non-brain dead zombieness and actual human responses has successfully covered that fact up. You lie in bed for a few minutes, eyes closed and bed covers sprawled everywhere. Again, not something most people would expect of you but at least you aren't drooling like Dave sometimes does.

You have no breeze to wake you up but instead you have a ball of yarn fall on your forehead, which comes from a box residing far to close to your face. With a groan you slowly, painstakingly, sit up and gracefully sit there with blurry eyes.

Theres a wardrobe in front of you, violin sitting on it with eager anticipation to be played.

Figures, another dream bubble. With a sigh you try and imagine the pesky yarn box away, yet it's cardboard stays ever resilient.

How odd. You must be losing your touch. Maybe if you try bit harder... No. It's not working. Was the alcohol that bad this time around? Couldn't be, you only had a few shots.

You examine the rest of the room, taking in the desk with your old and fond computer humming with energy. The posters adorning your walls showing Grimmdark gods of the depths, making you twitch a bit at memories of less fortunate times, and the large bookcase with a plushy and orb on it.

Your old room it seems. How nostalgic. Another flare of you trying to poof away the posters proves ineffective, it also proves you're more annoyed by now, and you rise from the bed with a sigh. What a pain, this is ridiculous.

You are almost caught up in your annoyance too much to notice how your clothes are not bright orange robes, but instead a shirt with your skull symbol and a skirt that is supposed to be far to small for you by now. Luckily it's an almost and you blink in surprise at the old clothes. Even in dream bubbles you usually have your god robes, and this is alarming.

More alarming however, is the sudden vision of your mother humming to herself while preparing the velvet pillow right under your letter with a sigh of her own.

This isn't a dream bubble.

=== Dave: Get the fuck up you slacker.

Alright, don't have to be so rude.

You open your eyes to the unforgiving light that is just another day in the life of what you call Dave Strider: Hell on Earth/Meteor Death Crew, Volume 7 out of Twelve; Part One out of Nine. The make believe movie series is personally signed by you, every single copy. You don't like to leave shit unfinished you see, and each one of your fans you treat like it's your own child. A fat, weeaboo, mildly immature and soft squishy child, yet a child none the less. Your fans create this industry, without them you would be homeless and on the streets begging for change that rich white people in their fancy Chihuahua made coats they bought with Silicon Valley money raised on the backs of hard working oppressed Mexicans simply won't hand out for free. You gotta dance in your size 12 jeans you stole off the hobo woman three blocks away for them, do a little tango and maybe pull in a few jazz hands for effect. It's a hard knock life like Annie says, but even starving ex-movie makers got to get by with doing the salsa for a few pennies of change.

Speaking of fans, the blow of air whiffs over your opening and blank seeming eyeballs and the hum of blades twirling like samurai swords makes you frown in confusion. Not to say you're distraught or anything, just confused.

Getting up to take a look around, oh wait fuck snag your shades on first before you do anything else, you see it all.

Your cinderblock held up desk, complete with computer hand picked by your Bro of course, surrounded by gear for making fresh beats and jam tapes is in front of you first. Next is the dastardly fan itself, blowing away like a man on... You won't get into that metaphor. Of course your record shelf is there too, your improved dark room closet for photos or the decorative swords over head can't be missed either, and the rest of the room is just how you remember it. More held up tables and posters of long dead rap artists and celebrities. It's home. Old home.

This isn't right.

You grit your teeth, still keeping up your poker face even though theres's no one here to see you. You don't hate this room per se, but the memory that comes with it in almost all dream bubbles has made you dislike the presence of something that isn't meant to exist anymore.

A flick of fury in your mind is supposed to make this whole room go away and turn into another place on your old planet but the room stays the same, the fan whirling without a care in the world.

You blink under your shades. No, defiantly not a dream bubble. You can't be dead either, SBURB purgatory is way different than this; you have your millions of time clones to know that.

But if it's not a dream bubble, if you aren't dead...

Then what the fuck is this?

=== Jade: Wake up silly!

No. You hate getting up. You have a sleeping disorder for a reason you know, and you tend to take as many advantages of it as you can.

=== Jade: Come on, wake up!

... Huh, fine. Maybe you do sleep a lot but you do enjoy it, especially on this ship where is there is nothing to do but sleep. And eat. And argue. And walk. And talk while not arguing. An- No! You're getting off topic here!

The point is to wake up, and even though you don't want to you will. Ugh. Blah. How do you move arms?

You slowly push yourself off of the ground where yet another sleep session occurred. You like to think of your narcolepsy as a randomizer of fun and dreams instead of a disability, which it's not in your opinion thank you very much, and merely something that prevents you from getting to your favorite TV shows on time or stops you from getting more chores done than you need to do.

It takes you a bit to readjust to the world of the awakened, rubbing your head to make sure there aren't any bruises there, and taking a deep breath.

Huh, smells like... Dog. With a bit of plastic plush and flowers. Maybe some cinnamon? Oh! Johns Nannasprite must have made some cookies. Hopefully not anything with chocolate again, those give you bad stomach aches. It's just part of the deal with being half dog person unfortunately. Not like being part dog is bad, you might not be able to see all the colors you used too or you can't eat chocolate and maybe the fact that you howl sometimes is a bit weird but you have great smell and hearing to make up for it!

Hearing... You hear chirping of birds and waves of the sea crash against rocks. It's loud, not too loud anyway, but you jump up in sudden thoughts to back away and fall over something.

A quick grab reveals that it's a... A... Oh.

Oh no. No. NO. NO, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! NO NO NO THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!

You quickly and emotionally hug the poor damaged Mr. Squiddle plush toy, trying to recover its sewn in smile where a large boot print has squished its lovable face. Why did this have to happen? Why do the good die young? Whhhhhhhhhyyyy?

A noise, the sound of a bark that is not your own, echoes through out your house and up your stair way.

Your heart clenches suddenly, your mind feels blank yet so sharp as you snap into full on observation mode.

The posters are here, all your old obsessions posted up neatly on the walls, the guns are there and lined up in the same position they were on the day that everything happened. Your bed is here, the worktable is still piled on with your failed invention of an automatic dog feeder and the broken teleportization device. Oh god, there's your old dolls and plushies scattered everywhere with flowers growing in home made pots hanging from the ceiling.

The bark again, Bec's bark that you remember so well, comes closer.

Your body isn't the same. Your god-tier dress isn't on you. You're younger, you're wearing the atom shirt with a long skirt that's supposed to be torn because you aren't 13 anymore you're supposed to be 16 what's going on?

Bec rushes into the room panting as he goes over and whines, nuzzling your arm to ask what's wrong.

You stay there, shocked and happy all at once.

You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

Good dog, best friend.

=== John: Asses situation and why cakes smell good.

The first thing you do is take big sniff, and indeed do wonder why the cake seems so good. It's tempting, tantalizing, yet also really weird and nostalgic. You used to hate cake, since your dad made it so much that you got sort of sick of it after a while, but after the game it became more of a sad thing to eat.

Nanna made it for you on occasion, just on birthdays, and while they were nice they didn't really taste like dads. Nothing tasted like dads food after he died, or smelled like it either.

So how come these cakes were like dads? And on that topic, how come this room is like your old one before the game?

The cold floor doesn't bother you anymore as you stand up, walking to the center of... Whatever this is. It can't be your old room, that was 3 years ago. You move your arms a bit, testing the mobility of t-shirt that smells like batter and fresh laundry. It feels just like it, just like the soft fabric your dad made you try out at JcPennys before he bought you the custom shirt.

You aren't scared or panicked, and maybe you're supposed to be but if you are then you're just kind of in a blur right now. You move to the computer, turning it on with a tap of the power button.

Rose's name is the first on your list.

You move the mouse and click on it.

==== Rose: Try not to panic and find out what the hell is going on.

There's a few things you forgot about your room. One, it really is messy. Two, you forgot how many balls of yarn you have in just your bed alone. Three, it's way smaller than your room on the meteor and you haven't been in such a cramped place ever since Dave locked you in closet for peering at his latest rap works for some good old fashioned criticizing.

After the realization that this place isn't a dream bubble it took you a minute to regain your composure, especially after the vision of your mother who had been dead for three years which nearly made you run down there and just hug her to get your feelings out in one swift mental breakdown. The only thing that stopped you was how that person might not be your mother and instead some game construct that was meant to test you.

With the end of the shock you quickly ran a check list of everything you were able to do. You felt younger, way younger, and your voice is actually a bit higher pitched when you think about it. Everything in the room is just the way you remember, up to the last sewing needle and misplaced book. Your Seer powers seemed somewhat functional but it's hard to tell since you couldn't exactly see anything truly revealing right now.

What you can see though, is the bright blink of your computer flashing a new message towards your Pesterchum account.

It's John.

Whatever this place is, if it's really the past like you think it might be, then John never contacted you this early.

...If this is John at least. You can't rule out any possibilities.

You head over to the computer, hesitating before sitting on the chair, and click the message.

EB: rose? please answer, you're the only one here and i'm pretty sure i'm like 13 or something right now.

EB: and i don't mean by my birthday.

EB: come on! i'm actually kinda freaked out here.

Not good enough to be John, you have to test this thing out first.

TT: If you are John, tell me three things only you would know.

EB: uh...

EB: on your 12th birthday you chopped off your pinata's head off with a weed whacker.

EB: and dave secretly likes lady gaga's pokerface song unironically.

EB: probably shouldn't have said that, he is going to murder me.

TT: I doubt that. You still have one more.

EB: okay, in the game you wanted to single handedly go and blow up the green sun with the tumor.

EB: wait no i mean [color 0000] The Tumor [/colar 0000] .

EB: ugh.

EB: i hate that code, i always get it wrong!

EB: are we even doing that thing anymore? its so stupid i mean what purpose does it serve?

EB: its just a name it doesn't need a fancy title bbc code!

This is definitely John.

TT: You're John.

EB: well yeah, who else would i be?

TT: An in-game construct to test my sanity.

EB: i'm not a sburb thing don't worry.

EB: in fact i'm glad i'm not!

EB: but we seem to be pre sburb don't we?

TT: It appears so. Do you have any contact with Dave or Jade?

EB: no, they haven't gone online yet.

TT: When they do, start a memo and discuss the current situation with them. I have to do something.

EB: do what?

TT: I need to see what this place is.

EB: i don't know if thats a good idea rose, something might happen to you!

EB: the last thing we need is that.

TT: I'll be careful, I promise.

EB:

TT: I'll see you soon.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

EB:

EB: god DAMMIT rose!

=== Dave: Push up your shades and scream like a banshee.

You fail to scream like a banshee, much to your happiness, but you do push up your shades before they fall off your face.

Nope, this shit can't possibly be happening.

Obviously it's not a dream bubble, but it's not real life either. Though if it's not real then how are you feeling the wind and the heat from outside? It has to be something else... Something, something logical like time travel. You are the Knight of Time after all, maybe you time sleep traveled?

No, that sounds fucking stupid. Probably doesn't exist either, unless that Aradia troll zapped you back to the past or something; which you doubt since she is actually nice and somewhat saner than most of the people you know. Not like anyone is really sane here to begin with though so in the end she could poof you to 1340 Antartica if she wanted to with none the wiser.

You find yourself getting out of bed and going to your wardrobe to put on your day clothes, your body kicking into reflexive routine while you think things through.

Speaking of the trolls, where are they? If this is the past then they must be in that hell rock of a meteor with Karkat filling the room with obscenities like a broken record player some 80 or 70 year old threw it in the trash but kept on playing despite all odds when a rat pressed on the needle thing that... That let it play out Midnight crew music at a... Fuck.

Your mind is swarming with too many thoughts to finish that metaphor and it just makes you more annoyed. Do they even know this stuff is happening? Does Terezi remember the time you two dated? Does Kanaya even know who Rose is? Karkat has to remember how you flipped him onto a table, that kind of stuff doesn't just leave your brain without a lobotomy or some shit.

Wait... Does Rose remember you?

Yeah, she has to. John and Jade have too. They all have to.

You shake your head, you're getting too far into fake possibilities Dave. Just... Just act normal. Maybe this is all just a dream, an actual dream and not some bubble in the vast wastelands of the horror terrors.

What was the first thing you tried to do...? Shit this is harder than you thought.

You step towards your turntables, no, the closet. Johns present. Right. You captchalogue it, using its code as the 'BOX' just like you remember. Into slot 5. Good.

Next thing you do is check out the apple juice, oh god it's been so long since you've tasted it's delicious apple goodness run down your raw and aching esophagus. You can practically feel it now, the glorious flavor that will surely let waves of pure joy fill your very soul.

No. You... You can't... If this is the past, or a dream, whatever it is you can't mess with it.

You regretfully captchalogue the juice, using 'JUICE' as it's code to go into slot 7. You'll have it later, you tell yourself so you don't burst into tears on the spot.

Next... What's the next thing you do? You wanted John to... To what? Something... Yes, you have to message him about his birthday! That's it.

You hurry to the computer, booting it up while taking some breaths to steady yourself. You try to remember what you said, and you rub your forehead in an attempt to get those prepubescent brain juices flowing.

John's active, along with Rose. Was Rose online last time? Probably, you don't want to think about it too much.

You start up a new conversation with John, taking a deep breath and typing.

TG: is it there dude

TG: say yes it is john its got to be

TG: ey maybe you could hit rose up with it shes been fucking pestering me all day

TG: this and that about the game like please calm your lady tits ive got this in the fucking bag

Oh god you don't want to type this. You really don't holy shit.

TG: i mean its like shes trying to mack on me so hard im beginning to be embarrassed for her

Good bye dignity, hello ecto-sibling incest hell.

TG: not like i blame her or anything though i mean come on

TG: have you seen how great my pecks are

Dear god you are so fucking screwed.

=== Jade: Squeeze Bec like a plushy and cry.

You do squeeze Bec in a tight hug, grabbing onto his fur and shaking with sobs. It's been so long, oh god so long, with out seeing him wag his tail or pant with his cute adorable tongue out or him smiling, him breathing, him / living /.

Bec isn't very comfortable in your reunion embrace, and he twitches with green sparking energy. It's obvious he's uncomfortable and confused but he whines and licks the tears off your face anyway.

Good dog, best friend.

You hold him for a few minutes afterwards, eventually letting him go as you give him a big kiss on his forehead. You can't remember a time where you've been this happy, you don't even care that you're spitting out dog hair right now because holy shit you are so happy.

Bec licks your cheeks again, getting all the tears off your skin. You smile, letting your hands run down his fur to gently pet him. You don't care what is going on now but you are so glad this happened. You just hope it's not a dream, you really hope it isn't.

At this point you sigh contently, letting go of Bec with one last kiss before making your way to the strawberry plant that's growing next to the window. Grabbing a berry off of it, you wipe it clean and then eat it; savoring the yummy taste. Nannasprites cooking and alchemized foods, although great, never held a candle to the true greatness that is fresh fruit.

You're pretty sure Bec is questioning your sanity by now but he warps away to do something more important than watching you eat plants with a look of pure joy on your face. Either that or he's freaked out.

Wow you missed your house so much. People don't really care for stuff until it's gone apparently. You will never make that mistake again. Ever.

Your desire for fruits, while not satisfied, must wait for now. You captchalogue the nearest rifle, ah you missed this old gun, and arm yourself for anything that will happen in the future. Never leave the party without a weapon for... Wait, no, that's not how the quote goes. Blah.

You travel to the lower levels of your house, taking time to soak in the beauty of each room and how much you missed this place.

Eventually you reach the greenhouse and there lies the most fruits and vegetables you've seen since the game began.

You dive in.

=== John: Flip computer desk in fury at Rose's friendleader insubordination.

You fail to flip the desk as your weak tweeenage-like arms only make it slightly tilt and shake before it flops back on the floor.

Dammit Rose, this is just like what you did three years ago!

You sigh again, glancing around the room and staring at the cake on your drawer. It couldn't hurt to take a bite, after all this is probably your old house and dads cakes are the best. Then again this could still be some weird game thing... But maybe it's-

Nope you're already at the cake. You probably shouldn't be, no wait you are taking a bite already it's too late nothing is stopping you now.

...Wow this tastes way better than you remembered. Sorry Nanna but nothing beats home made dad food.

There's another pinging on your computer, but it goes unattended for a few seconds as you lift the cake to go on your desk. No use keeping it over there, you've barely gotten into it yet after all. As you place the cake down on the desk the note falls off the wardrobe and as you know it you're back there reading the message and smiling.

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.'

You captchalogue it, noticing it's reverted back to the Stack Modus, and go back to the computer. It's a message from Dave, but the contents makes you worry just a bit.

TG: is it there dude

TG: say yes it is john its got to be

TG: ey maybe you could hit rose up with it shes been fucking pestering me all day

TG: this and that about the game like please calm your lady tits ive got this in the fucking bag

TG: i mean its like shes trying to mack on me so hard im beginning to be embarrassed for her

TG: not like i blame her or anything though i mean come on

TG: have you seen how great my pecks are

Nervousness creeps up your back as you hesitate over the keyboard. It doesn't seem like Dave is aware of this time back skip, which is kinda of not funny since he is your time player, but you decide to go for the blunt route.

EB: dave have you noticed anything weird lately?

TG: what are you talking about

TG: the fact that my muscles are getting better or something else

EB: ew, no.

EB: i mean like...

EB: you feel younger, or something happened but you can't put your finger on it?

EB: anything?

EB: dave?

TG: what yeah

TG: shit man i thought you didnt know

TG: i guess i worked myself up there huh

TG: but yeah how the fuck are we younger and where the hell is everyone

EB: well i've talked to rose and she knows what's happening too. as for jade, she hasn't been online yet.

EB: i'm kind of worried actually, i hope she's okay.

TG: me too

TG: so rose remembers us right

EB: yeah, and the game and everything that happened.

TG: okay that is a fucking relief holy shit i was actually really scared there

EB: you? how is the cool kid scared?

TG: hey cool kids like me can get a bit worked up sometimes

TG: don't judge me man youre better than that

TG: or did your younger happy 13th birthday brain turn your morals into sticky goop

EB: the only thing goopy here is my dads cake! it tastes way better than i remember.

TG: that reminds me

TG: bro is downstairs just waiting to pile me with smuppet abominations

EB: no! don't go!

EB: rose already left to do something to 'test this place' and i don't want anyone else leaving until we know what's going on.

TG: rose left

TG: she going to be okay

EB: probably, i'm pretty sure this place is the actual past and she'll just run into her mom or something.

TG: thats not a good outcome

EB: why?

TG: she can tell you later

EB: alright... oh! she told me to make a memo once i found you and jade.

EB: but since jade hasn't answered yet i'll just make it so when she comes back we can all talk.

TG: alright but you better name it something cool

EB: don't worry dave, i got it all under control. i'll send you the link.

EB: [link] "calling all kids back to home!" [/link]

EB: god fuck it, just click on it.

TG: your the friend leader boss

\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

=== Rose: Investigate.

The worst way to start an investigation is the way you are beginning it.

Slowly opening your door to the dark halls of your home, you find the claps of thunder behind large glass windows comforting in some way. It's odd, creeping in the quiet again with the idea of your mom finding you. You aren't sure if you want her to find you or if you want to be left undisturbed. You aren't even sure what exactly your doing, what you're trying to find, what you're trying to see. Whatever it is, you inch closer down the hall and towards the observatory.

It was your first destination, yet you're uncertain if you should return there. Would she expect you to? Does she even know she died in front of you by Jack? Maybe she doesn't even know you exist.

You hope she remembers.

You also hope your sneaking skills have improved over the course of the game, instead of getting worse. You might not be able to handle seeing her, even if it might be an in-game monster thing it would still look like her. What makes you nervous is just the possibility. What should you hope for? Your real mom alive again, or it being some construct to test you? Which one do you even want? Should you want anything of let fate take its course?

Stop it. What ifs aren't getting you anywhere.

The junction is right ahead, you twitch and take a breath. This is it. Your computer is safely in your Branch Modus, along with your violin and Grimmore book that you wanted to bring for nostalgias sake.

Going ahead you stop at the hall that connects to the window. A gulp later and the lighting flashes and you run to the other side, not looking back. You push the door to the outside open, shielding your eyes from the falling rain. Looking up, you spot no meteors. Thank god.

You enter the observatory, placing the computer down on the Grimmore book and turning it on again. Flipping to the signals page, you connect to the unsecured SN_0413 link with practiced ease.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] has invited you to Memo "calling all the kids back home" with turntechGodhead [TG] and gardenGnostic [GG] -

You enter the chat.

=== Dave: Discuss the situation with John, using September weddings and YouTube as examples.

TG: look john let me put it in perspective for you

TG: when i woke up it was like i was this bride at a september wedding

EB: oh jeez, do you really have to do another one of your metaphors?

TG: yes john i have to

EB: ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

TG: now calm down those spiraling h's cuz im going for it

EB: please don't.

TG: its too late john you can't stop me now

TG: lets put this in perspective

TG: on the day of my september wedding the sun was shining ever so shamelessly bright and birds were tweeting harder than twitter on crack and bees were buzzing and flowers were having pollination sex every fucking where

TG: but then all of a sudden the sky rumbled like it had fucking indigestion after one too many chipotle burritos and darkened like some horrific vagina with teeth was getting ready to pop right out of the sky

TG: the ceremony was just rained out so obscenely bad that a video of me standing hilariously horrified as months of lovingly detailed planning slipped off was something reminiscent of niagara falls

TG: it went fucking viral on youtube and was the most watched film for seemingly 4 thousands years after

TG: im serious here it literally got watched so many times that the exact fucking index of how shitty my day had been was soundly beaten into pop culture immortality

TG: at sunset i would most likely be googling ticket prices desperately through estrogen-laden teary eyes with the intent of relocating my entire existence in all planes of reality to a different hemisphere where ill change names and possibly physical appearance in the hopes of getting a karma reset

TG: i guess i could have been feeling shitter at the time though to be honest im not one to doubt the state of feeling like shit

TG: there are always new depths of it just waiting to be discovered and it wasnt like i was experiencing lethal amounts of shit depression or anything at the time

TG: my emotional immune system was holding out just fantastically then

TG: so yeah that was what it felt like when i woke up

EB: :/

TG: are you not impressed by my descriptions

TG: youve hurt my soul with your brutalness

EB: alright, your metaphor was pretty good even if i didn't get some of it.

TG: my soul is now restored

TG: your morals eche ladder has risen to boy scout earning his first badge

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] joined Memo "calling all kids back home" -

EB: rose!

TG: hey sis hows the perilous investigating going

TG: have you dug through your mom porn collection to find wizard smut to recede your fangirl urges in this trying time

TT: Hello to you too Dave.

TT: And no, my 'fangirl urges' are just fine and by that I mean they are nonexistent.

TG: rose we just traveled back to when were tiny tot kiddies

TG: lighten up a bit and let your inner wizard fan girl fly like a butterfly

TT: I'd prefer not too. Getting to a more serious topic, have you contacted Jade at all?

EB: no, we haven't heard anything from her yet. maybe she's asleep? last time she didn't pester us until a bit later i think...

TG: im getting nervous too

TG: and pretty hot

TG: temperature wise i mean though either way works too

TG: you guys dont know how fucking hot my apartment is

TT: Your planet was built on lava, shouldn't you be more used to this sort of heat by now?

TG: are you telling me to doom myself to a life of fiery sun and slow agonizing melting

EB: dave you've survived being boiled in a stew pot by your own consorts.

TG: against my will

TG: i was a prisoner are you telling me im a prisoner in this apartment

TG: do you support me burning in this cramped apartment

TG: do you john

TG: answer me

EB: that's not what i meant...

TT: Dave, John, get back on topic. We still need to find out what exactly is going on here and accusations of imprisonment and memories of lizard boiling.

TG: technically i was the one being boiled not the lizards

TT: Dave.

TG: okay okay jesus i was just making a joke

EB: yeah we really should figure this out though.

TG: fine

TG: the only thing ive got is that this is really the past

TT: How are you so sure?

TG: well i am the time player for a reason

TG: plus what the fuck else kind of an explanation does anyone have

TG: oh no we all got thrown into a dream bubble with our exact houses with no taints of any other memories or troll people

TG: like how does that even work

EB: i agree. something, we don't what yet, made us go back in time to the start of the game.

EB: or at least a bit before it.

TG: what do you think rose

TG: solid theory or what

TT: The trolls...

EB: what about them?

TT: If we really are back in time...

TT: Does Kanaya remember me? Do any of them remember us? Are we literally back to the beginning?

EB: i guess not, but they might be experiencing the same thing as we are!

EB: we can't rule out that possibility yet.

TG: when jade gets on we should contact them to see

TT: Alright.

TT: Now we wait.

EB: oh! while we do, maybe we share some stories?

EB: a lot happened in three years after all.

TG: tell me the most embarrassing stories you have

TT: Going straight for the most exploitable goods right off the bat?

TG: hey i go for the gold when i can see it

EB: alright. get ready for the story of.

EB: your.

EB: life.

EB: it all begins one day on the ships rooftop...

=== Jade: Put down that piece of broccoli and go to your friends!

You take another bite of the broccoli regardless, savoring the taste. Most kids would have fled in terror at the amount of greens you've eaten and collected but you are beyond happy. You've grown up with healthy fresh food for the first 13 years of your life and you don't care that you're in a pile of them right now this is glorious. A loud bang, a signal that Bec has returned from whatever he was doing before, echoes through the green house.

You jump at the sudden sound to see Bec looking at you with confusion and worry. Laughing a bit awkwardly you get out of the pile of vegetables and back onto the regular floor, patting down your long skirt and shirt off of any dust and is not as amused, giving you a bark and a stern look. You don't know how he manages to make you guilty with a single look, he is a dog after all, but he nudges you out of the greenhouse. Your feeble protests pose him no threat as he just zaps you back to your room regardless.

Giving him the angriest face you can manage fails completely and he barks with an order to stay in your room. You're grounded for making such a mess apparently, but you won't complain. You really did mess up the greenhouse. After a stern barking to, Bec zaps off again, leaving you alone in your let out a huff of mild anger and sit on your bed. The computer bounces on the sheets, directing your attention back to it. Oh your god. You completely forgot about John, Rose, and Dave. Your jaw drops for a second before you grab the computer and begin frantically clicking your way to Pesterchum.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] has invited you to Memo "calling all the kids back home" with turntechGodhead [TG] and tentacleTherapist [TT] -

Whew.

Going into the Memo you almost scream.

\- gardenGnostic [GG] joined Memo "the kids are back home" -

EB: and then jade totally freaked out and threw a pot at

EB: oh.

EB: uh, hi jade.

TG: oh my god

TT: We've been caught red handed.

GG: JOHN! GG: I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD TELL THEM ABOUT THAT!

EB: sorry...

GG: WE HAD A PACT JOHN! A PACT OF SILENCE!

EB: i figured it was good bonding material!

GG: BONDING MATERIAL MY ASS I AM SO DISSAPOINTED IN YOU.

EB: jade i'm really, really sorry. i won't do it again!

GG: you better not

GG: or else

GG: this how im greeted, with my own brother telling embarrassing stories about me behind my back!

TT: If it makes you feel any better, Dave screamed at the appearance of a cockroach too.

TG: rose how could you betray me like this

TG: we had a pact

TG: a pact of silence

GG: dave!

TG: sorry

TT: Anyway, embarrassing stories and sibling betray aside, it seems you've also noticed we've reverted back to our 13 year old forms Jade?

GG: yeah it was pretty scary for a bit since i didnt know what was going on but i saw bec again!

GG: i hugged him for so long

GG: i missed him a lot

EB: none of us have really met our guardians yet.

GG: are they not there or something?

EB: no, they are. rose, didn't you see your mom?

TT: Not exactly. I had a vision of her and avoided her in the hallways to get to the observatory for better connection like I did originally.

TT: I don't exactly want to meet her. Not yet at least.

TG: me neither

TG: i think bro is getting tired of waiting for me

TG: and as much i want to see him im also reluctant to

TG: fear of smuppet piles aside

TG: its just been so long i guess i dont know what to do when i see him again

EB: same here. just eating dads cake is a lot for me.

EB: i've always thought about what i could do to when i meet him again but now that it's happening...

TT: I guess we will burn that bridge when it comes. For now though, we should find out if the trolls are experiencing the same thing we are or if they have also reverted to their original state.

GG: you guys havent check for them yet?

TT: We were waiting for you.

GG: awwww thats so sweet

EB: hehe.

EB: so what troll should we talk to first? i mean individually. it's easier if we do that to conserve time.

TT: Kanaya.

EB: huh?

TT: I'll talk to Kanaya, that is.

TG: calm your lady boner rose jesus

TT: Shut up Dave.

TG: sure thing sis

TG: anyway ill talk to terezi

GG: ill talk to karkat

GG: i guess

GG: he is their leader and stuff so might as well

EB: and... i'll...

EB: well i'm closest to vriska. i'll do her.

EB: plan set. meeting of the kids adjourned!

EB: everyone go contact your troll and see what the hell is going on. report back here when you're done.

TG: sir yes sir

TT: Alright.

GG: roger that!

=== John: Talk to Vriska.

That's a bit harder to do than you thought. You mean, you do like her and all but... After a while you've grown a bit scared of her. She did kill people after all, you don't care how weird troll society is; it's still murder in the end!

You do remember her account name, arachnidsGrip. You never realized how creepy that name sounded until now, even creepier than that troll who had the word testicle in their name, but you enter it into the search for friends bar anyway.

She's active.

You take a deep breath. Lets do this.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] -

EB: vriska?

AG: Hey John :::

AG: Wait, how the hell do you know my name?

Oh no, she doesn't know.

EB: don't you remember?

EB: we went on all those adventures together?

EB: you sent me a love letter and dated a doomed copy of me for a while?

EB: the ghost ship?

EB: ANYTHING?!

AG: Uhhhhhhh...

AG: No?

EB: wow.

EB: really? nothing?

AG: I really don't remem8er. Sorry, I guess?

AG: W8, did you say I had a ghost ship?

EB: uh, yeah.

AG: Oh. My. GOD.

AG: T8LL ME A8OUT THIS SHIP NOW!

AG: WAS I TH8 CAPT8AN?!

AG: JOHN I NEED TH8S INFORMA8N RIGHT NOW!

EB: uh...

EB: i have to go.

AG: What?

AG: NO DON'T G8!

\- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] -

=== Vriska: Flip computer over in fury.

You flip the computer and break it in blind anger. You were so close to knowing if you were a badass pirate like Minding but no! John just had to leave like a stupid pansy! Why John, wwwwhhhhyyyy?

You ignore everyones looks of confusion and Terezi's laughter, shamefully moving to the next computer. On the second thought though, you give her the middle finger for emphasis and a glare; even though you know she can't see it.

God dammit.

=== Rose: Contact Kanaya

grimAuxiliatrix has always been an interesting name to you. Kanaya isn't one to be grim, blunt perhaps, but not grim. You do get the helper part though, the word auxiliatrix suits Kanaya well. A bit too well.

You try not to think of all the times she brought your drunken body back to your room and instead focus on typing out her name into the search bar. A deep breath, a crack of your knuckles, and you start the chat.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] -

TT: Hello.

What a way to start out.

GA: Hello As Well

GA: May I Ask What You Are Contacting Me For

GA: Last I Remember You Didnt Exactly Want Me Of My Fellow Species Compony

Kanaya doesn't know just how wrong she is.

TT: Let's say I've changed my mind for now.

TT: More specifically, I need to ask you a question.

GA: A Question

GA: Well How Could I Refuse

GA: But Before You Ask

GA: Is This A Gesture Of Human Friendship

That is not something your Kanaya would say. Maybe you need to spark up her memory?

TT: You could say that.

GA: Well Go On Then

TT: Do you perhaps remember me drunkly kissing you?

GA: I Beg Your Pardon

She doesn't remember. She doesn't know. You take a few more breaths, focusing on typing rather than the throb in your heart.

TT: Nevermind. Forget I asked.

GA: Uh Alright Then

\- tentacleTherapsit [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] -

GA: Can I Ask If Yo

GA: Oh

=== Kanaya: Be confused. Very, very confused.

You peer at the computer screen closely. That was... Odd to say the least. Drunkenly kissing? What even is 'drunkenly'? Was this some weird culturally human thing, was she flirting with you? There was the word kissing in there...

Before you can ponder the matter any further, Vriska yells in rage and flips over her computer.

Oh dear.

=== Dave: Pester Terezi.

Okay man you got this in the fucking bag. Shit is in the bag. The bag is yours. You own the bag. You are the bag.

This is stupid.

Regardless you go to an old log and click on one written by gallowsCalibrator. Terezi's name was always weird. You copy paste the title into the search bar.

Well, here we go.

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] -

TG: yo tz you know me

GC: *G4SP* D4V3?

GC: D4MN R1GHT 1 KNOW YOU COOL K1D

Aw yes, score one for Strider. Terezi is a go.

TG: so i was coming up here to discuss a serious matter with you

GA: OH :?

GC: DO T3LL M3 TH1S S3R1OUS M4TT3R

TG: well

TG: me and the rest of the human crew were wondering if you remember us at all

TG: but it seems our fears were totally wrong

GC: WHY WOULD 1 FORG3T YOU?

GC: 1 4M 4 M1ND PL4Y3R 4FT3R 4LL

GC: FR4NKLY 1M SHOCK3D 4ND 1NSULT3ED BY YOUR L4CK OF F41TH 1N M3 D4V3

GC: HOW COULD YOU DO TH1S TO M3? 1M ONLY S3V3N SW33PS 4ND MY M3NT4L ST4B1L1TY S1MPLY 1SNT 4S GOOD 4S YOU TH1NK 1T 1S

GC: YOU CH1LD H4T1NG MONST3R OF 4 HUM4N B31NG

TG: you talked people to death

TG: i think thats pretty mentally stable

TG: or not actually

TG: talking people to death is actually really fucked up

GC: DONT JUDG3 MY L1F3 CHOIC3S

GC: 4T L34ST 1 DONT STR41GHT UP K1LL TH3M

GC: TH4TS JUST W4Y TO BRUT4L

GC: PR4CT1C4LLY UNC1V1L1Z3D MURD3R1NG R1GHT TH3R3

TG: fair enough

TG: anyway how is everyone over there

TG: karkat still sizzling after my sicks burns

TG: is kanaya making that stupid scarf with ironic moths on it

TG: oh wait

TG: is the mayor still there

TG: oh my god terezi please tell me the mayor is there

GC: UH

GC: WHO 1S TH3 M4YOR?

GC: 4LSO K4N4Y4 DO3SNT KNOW HOW TO KN1T YOU DUMBO

GC: 4T L34ST 1 DONT TH1NK SH3 KNOWS

GC: BUT K4RK4T 1S LOOK1NG PR3TTY S1ZZL3D R1GHT NOW

GC: 1 TH1NK H3S TURN1NG BR1GHT R3D. 1 C4N SM3LL 1T ALR34DY :]

TG: wait

TG: you dont know the mayor

GC: 1 JUST S41D 1 D1DNT KNOW WHO H3 W4S

GC: 1 HOP3 TH3 R3ST OF TH3 HUM4NS 4R3NT 4S BR41N D34D 4S YOU S33M TO B3

GC: H4H4H4H4H4

GC: TH4TS W4S 4 JOK3

GC: PR3TTY FUNNY, HUH?

GC: ...

GC: OH COM3 ON 4NSW3R M3

GC: 1 D1DNT OFF3ND YOU TOO MUCH D1D 1?

\- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] -

GC:

=== Terezi: Flip your computer in anger.

No you won't do that. You're not that stupid, why would anyone do that? You guys don't have many computers here in the first place and to do so would be a wast-

Vriska flips over her computer.

For a second you're shocked but then you laugh, slapping your knee with a loud smack and doubling over in giggles. You're certain she's sent you a middle finger by now but this is far too hilarious and you don't care.

In the back of your mind you know to review that conversation. Might lead to something very, very interesting. :]

=== Jade: Chat with Karkat.

Unlike everyone else, you aren't nervous at all. Well, you kind of are but not for the reasons everyone else has.

Your just more nervous about talking rather than finding.

You easily type in Karkat's name, carcinoGeneticist, and are about to start a conversation before you stop.

What will you even say?

A hello to break the ice? Maybe you should just go for the quick approach and ask what he remembers first, or would some small talk be better then you ask?

Eh, you'll try and wing it.

\- gardanGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

GG: so

GG: hey karkat!

CG: HELLO HUMAN.

CG: I'M SURPRISED YOU CAME TO TALK TO ME FIRST, BUT SEEING AS I AM YOUR ALL POWERFUL LORD AND SAVOIR TYPE GOD I ONLY IMAGINED THAT YOU WOULD CONTACT ME TO HAVE A FIRST GLANCE AT WHAT WILL BE YOUR RULER.

CG: I WOULD SAY I'M HUMBLED, BUT I'M REALLY NOT.

CG: INSTEAD OF THAT I'M MORE ALONG THE LINES OF MILDY AMUSED AND CONTENT PASSIVE READING.

CG: YOU CAN TALK NOW IF YOU WANT.

CG: WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY ALL POWERFUL GLORIOUS POWER?

GG: god

GG: fucking

GG: DAMMIT

\- gardanGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

=== Karkat: Wonder what the ever-loving fuck just happened.

You do wonder. You aren't mad, not really, but you grunt in disappointment and annoyance. Probably used a way to strong approach for your first interaction. Now you know at least.

A sudden yell of anger makes you turn around to see Vriska ripping her computer off of it's set, wires and all, only to flip it over in a blind act of rage.

The room is silent for a bit and she blushes dark cerulean once she realizes what she just did. Terezi laughs her ass off in the background while Vriska glares at her and gives her the middle finger.

What the fuck are you going to do with these people?

=== Kids: Report back to Memo.

EB: vriska doesn't remember.

TG: no luck with terezi either

GG: karkat was karkat and he didnt remember a thing! :/

EB: rose? how about you?

TT: Kanaya doesn't remember.

EB: oh.

EB: im sorry rose.

TT: It's fine.

TT: Let's focus on what to do next. Playing the game seems like an obvious choice.

TG: are you insane?

TG: that stupid game fucked us up

TG: i do not want to play that horrible excuse of media again

GG: but if we dont we will make a time paradox right

GG: i mean we need to play so john makes our ecto versions so that we exist

GG: and if we dont that never happens and we

GG: i don't know what happens but i suppose it would make a doomed timeline or something

GG: but technically we are here already

GG: and therefore that means we already cloned ourselves

GG: but then if we dont play the game

TG: stop

TG: don't try to wrap your head around it its not worth it

EB: anyway i actually agree with rose.

EB: the only way we can get to the trolls is if we play the game.

EB: but if we know how it plays out,

TT: Then we won't make any mistakes.

TT: Similar to a cheat code of sorts, Jade can make the Genesis Frog early, Dave knows how to keep the timeline sorted, John can reach god tier early and assist us if we need it, and now I know not to make the mistake of talking to Doc. Scratch.

TT: With the advantage we can, dare I say, win this.

EB: rose you stole my speech away.

TT: Sorry.

EB: no it's fine. you explained it better than i could have.

GG: so we play the game and just not make the same mistakes

TG: seems like a plan

TG: maybe we could warn the trolls about the murder spree too

TG: prevent a lot of shit from going down

TG: be heros or something

GG: i like this plan

GG: along the way we can even get the trolls back their memories

TT: Yes. Everyone have their copy?

EB: yup!

TG: ive got my copy but i still need to send jade hers

GG: uh

GG: yeah still need to get it

GG: let me just warp down to the basement to grab it

GG: no rush

EB: okay jade come back when you get your copy.

GG: you better not tell any stories about me john

GG: or else ill tell them about

GG: the cake war

EB: you wouldn't dare.

GG: i would john

GG: i

GG: would

GG:

EB:

TG: sibling love at its finest

TT: I'm tempted to add a joke here.

TG: id be better if you dont

TT: Yeah.

EB: anyway.

EB: lets do this guys.

EB: lets sburb it up here.

TG: no

TG: that was fucking terrible

GG: it kinda was

GG: sorry john :|

TT: A for effort. F for failure.

EB: ugh.

EB: alright fine.

EB: time to play.

EB: see? now the witty one liner is ruined!

EB: this is what you've done!

TG: dont worry you dont need one liners to start this shit out

GG: yeah youre cool anyway

GG: one liners or no one liners!

EB: thanks jade.

EB: alright, no one linerness this time.

EB: lets go!

=== Rose: Skip to an unknown time in the future.

TT: Log number 4,136.

TT: It seems like were going down the rabbit hole with no stop in sight.

TT: Queen of Hearts, Ace of Diamonds, Jack of Spades, King of Clubs. Better hope.

TT: Lets just hope we find no more jokers.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased Memo "Loop Records." -

* * *

1.1: Woops.

1.2: Welcome to the Loops.


	2. Chapter 2

2.1

* * *

John groaned and sat up in bed. For as little as he had slept the night before, he sure felt well rested. He glanced around his room.

Wait, what? His room?

_Again?  
_  
For a moment, he began to panic, but that quickly subsided when his computer dinged, signaling that someone was messaging him. He hopped out of bed and ran to his desk, checking the notification. It was Rose.

TT: John?  
TT: Did it happen to you again as well?  
EB: yes it did. and i'm very confused.  
TT: As am I.  
TT: I've already talked to Dave and Jade. Strangely, they don't seem to remember the previous repeat. Or the first time around, for that matter.  
EB: are you serious?  
EB: what the hell, paradox space?  
TT: I agree. I think it's fairly reasonable to say that these repeats are going to keep happening.  
TT: As for why, I'm not sure.  
EB: i wonder why you and i remember the last time but dave and jade don't?  
TT: It's baffling me as well. My Seer powers aren't being of much use at the moment, either.  
TT: I suppose that if these repeats are going to continue, we'll find out eventually, however.  
TT: We may as well make the best of it, for now.  
EB: yeah, i guess so. :/  
EB: wait, i just thought of something.  
TT: Hm? What is it?  
EB: one second.

John got up from his desk and moved over to the window. Just like the first time, the red arm flappy-dealy thing was up. He pushed his window open, and a cool breeze rushed in. He concentrated for a moment, focusing on the wind around him.

The signature blue streaks of the Breeze flew off of him and into the yard, blowing open the mailbox. He pumped his fist. "Yessssssss!" A blue sphere formed around the contents of the mailbox, carrying them up and through John's window.

He grinned, then sat back down at his desk.

EB: yes! i still have my windy powers!  
TT: I figured as much. It would make sense, considering the fact that I still have my Seer powers.  
TT: This is probably going to be very useful.  
EB: it already is. i got the beta way earlier than i did the last two times.  
TT: Excellent. Shall we go ahead and start the game?  
EB: no, dave has probably lost his copy already, and jade still needs to get hers from the time capsule, i think.  
TT: But by that point, the meteor will have already hit your house.  
EB: dammit, you're right.  
EB: let's wait a little while longer though. some stuff has to happen first.  
TT: Fair enough.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today

John sighed. This wasn't going to be terribly fun.

* * *

2.2

* * *

This was, perhaps, not the greatest thing to do with the ludicrous amounts of grist that killing Typheus yielded. But John gave no fucks.

"This is it," he said, placing the carved Cruxite Dowel on the Alchemiter. "The moment of truth." He took a deep breath and pushed the button.

Thus, Typhon, Crusher Of Worlds was born. John took the alchemized hammer from the platform and hefted it in both hands, examining it carefully.

Its design was smooth and airy, with light whites, blues, and grays. Everything about it was reminiscent of the wind. It always appeared to be moving, and the outline of it was not perfectly defined. The handle and hammerhead were decorated with blue swirls and arcs that looked identical to that of The Breeze.

"Fuck yes," John said triumphantly. Then he remembered that it would vanish at the end of the time loop.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

2.3

* * *

John found himself standing in the middle of a room, though it was not his own. Then he stumbled and threw his arms out to keep his balance as a mountain of memories hit him.

His name was John Strider and he was hella confused.

* * *

2.4

* * *

John stared at the computer screen anxiously, waiting for a reply. There hadn't been a single repeat since the first one where Jade or Dave had kept their memories.

EB: jade? are you there?  
GG: john! did it happen for you again too?  
EB: the repeaty-loop thing?  
GG: yes!  
GG: this is so weird! why did it happen a second time?  
EB: actually this is like the twenty or thirtieth time for me. after the first one, rose had her memories one time, and then after that it was mostly just me.  
EB: you guys haven't been remembering them for some reason.  
GG: really?  
GG: wow that really is weird!  
EB: i'm just glad someone else remembers for once. it's weird when you do the repeats alone.  
GG: did you figure out why this is happening?  
EB: no. still no progress.  
EB: i did make this one really awesome hammer one time though.  
EB: oh! i just remembered!  
EB: if i'm right, you should still have your witchey powers.  
GG: really?

Jade looked away from her lunchtop for a moment and looked at one of her squiddles. She focused on it for a second, and it grew eight times as large. She then made a square with her fingers, and a tiny fourth wall appeared in front of her. She turned back to the lunchtop, amazed.

GG: wow you were right!  
GG: i still have my green sun powers too which...  
GG: ...doesnt really make any sense but its still cool!  
GG: uh oh i think bec noticed  
GG: hes probably worried and is coming to check on me  
GG: im gonna talk to you later john cause this is probably going to take a while  
EB: heh. alright, bye!  
GG: bye!

* * *

2.5

* * *

John glanced up at the incoming meteor. Unexpected delays were often inconvenient, and this was no exception.

The Breeze surged from John into the sky around the meteor, slowing it and eventually bringing it to a stop. It hovered midair in a ball of wind, then was gently placed in the lake about a mile away. He sighed and alchemized his Cruxite apple, then took a bite of it.

If he could use his wind powers to drill a hole to the center of a planet and lift a massive bomb out of it, he could sure as hell slow down a big falling rock.

* * *

2.6

* * *

TG: yo john  
TG: the loopy thing happened again  
EB: oh my gosh yes finally.  
EB: this is the second time for you, right?  
TG: yeah why  
TG: are you suggesting i missed something  
EB: yes, i am.  
EB: this is like...the thirty seventh time, i think, for me.  
EB: for some reason, you guys usually don't have the memories of the repeats.  
EB: besides the first time, jade, rose, and you have all remembered the repeats once now.  
TG: thirty seventh  
TG: god damn  
TG: doesnt it get boring after a while?  
EB: a little bit.  
EB: oh, by the way. you should still have your time powers.  
TG: really lemme check

"Sup John." John whirled around in his chair to see Dave standing there.

"Dave? What the hell?" John was confused beyond belief. A sudden realization hit him. "Wait...we're talking right now."

Dave shrugged. "So?"

"Without Pesterchum. Or some sort of Internet connection thing."

"Couldn't you do that before?" Dave asked nonchalantly.

"I think so? I don't remember. Definitely not this early, though."

"Probs a side effect of the time loops. Anyways, my time powers are gonna make this hella easier." He held up four copies of both the Sburb client and server disks. "Case in point."

John took one of each disk. "Thanks, I guess. I could've gotten it myself, but whatever." A sudden idea hit John, and he grinned as only a master prankster could. "Hey, Dave?"

Dave looked unnerved for a moment. "John, what's with that look?" John didn't answer the question, however. A look of extremw concentration was on his face.

"Have you seen the movie Sharknado?" John asked. Dave looked out the window nervously. A cloud of indistinct splotches of color could be seen coming over the horizon.

"Oh hell no," Dave said, heading toward the door. "Time to abscond." He was interrupted, though, by the cloud of splotches bursting through the window and enveloping him.

"Smuppetnado!" John cried triumphantly. The smuppetnado carried Dave out the window and over the neighborhood, before depositing him in the lake.

* * *

2.7

* * *

"Dave, leave Karkat alone," John said irritably. Dave then proceeded to flip Karkat backwards onto the table. John sighed.

Dammit, why did he decide to go on the meteor this time?

* * *

2.8

* * *

Doc Scratch looked at the screen in frustration. What was the girl's secret? How could she possibly have seen through his plan?!

I can't stand this. How are you doing this? Not even your abilities as a Seer of Light grant you such foreknowledge. You have completely deviated from what I know is supposed to happen. That should not be possible. What is your secret?

TT: What can I say? I'm just that good.

You have quite the sense of humor.  
But I'm afraid I no longer find it funny. You've completely derailed everything.

TT: I'll assume you're aware of the concept of a time loop.  
TT: Not the stable time loop of the kind that Time players form with their abilities, but the common fictional trope.

Ah. I see now.  
But how could you possibly be aware of the Loops? 

Rose paused. This was her chance to get information. Doc Scratch was clearly aware of what was happening to them, and his omniscience was all but lost now. Time to bluff. 

TT: I've been looping for a little while now. So have the others, especially John.

John as the Anchor? Strange. It seems far more likely that you would be the Anchor.

Anchor? What in paradox space was an Anchor?

TT: And why is that, exactly?

Oho, I see.  
I'm afraid you're not going to get any more information out of me. That was an excellent bluff, though. You almost had me.

TT: Darn. So close to actually learning something.  
TT: Would you mind at least telling me what an Anchor is?

I think not. If you truly are Looping, you'll find out soon enough anyway.  
You are, of course, still going to act as my plan dictated. The lack of the Green Sun's existence would not be very beneficial for you, now, would it?

TT: Actually, I think not. It's of no importance, since everything will be reset at the end of the Loop, as you called it.  
TT: So I think I'll just not bother, as payback for you being a manipulative bastard the first time around.  
TT: Cheers.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] disconnected. -

* * *

2.9

* * *

As per the usual for the beginning of the resets, John found himself in bed. He slowly rolled out of bed and onto the floor. A notification flashed on his computer screen, and he got up to check it.

TT: John, I have some good news.  
EB: really? what is it?  
TT: Have you checked to see if Jade and Dave have their memories yet?  
EB: no, i just got out of bed. i literally had no time to do anything before you messaged me.  
TT: I'll check on Dave, you check on Jade.  
EB: alright.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

\- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -

EB: hey jade, did you do the loopy thing again?  
GG: yeah i did!  
GG: did you check rose and dave?  
EB: rose is checking on dave right now.  
EB: since the three of us have done the loopy thing, i'm gonna assume dave did it too and do this.

\- ectoBiologist [EB] has invited you to Memo "do the loopy thing" with turntechGodhead [TG] and tentacleTherapist [TT] -

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] joined Memo "do the loopy thing" -

\- gardenGnostic [GG] joined Memo "do the loopy thing" -

\- turntechGodhead [TG] joined Memo "do the loopy thing" -

TG: so whats this about  
TT: I discovered something rather interesting from Doc Scratch during my last loop.  
TT: Doc Scratch is apparently aware of the Loops, and was the first time around as well.  
EB: loops with a capital L?  
TT: That's how he said it, yes. He said that we were Looping, with a capital L.  
TT: He also said that you were something called an Anchor, John. I assume that has something to do with you being aware of all of the Loops.  
EB: huh.  
TG: this is hella weird yo  
TG: how would doc scratch know whats going on  
TG: did you get any more info out of him?  
TT: Nothing, sadly. He did say, however, that if we truly are Looping, we'll find out what's going on eventually anyway.  
TT: I can't fathom what he might have meant.  
GG: this is so weird!  
EB: i agree.  
GG: i wonder what he meant?  
TG: i suppose we just gotta wait  
TG: hey i wonder how much easier the game will be since we all have our god powers from the start this time  
EB: phenomenally.  
TT: Gasp.  
TT: I'm impressed, John. I didn't know you had such a broad vocabulary.  
EB: shush.  
TG: no but seriously you all have your copies of the game sitting on your desks  
EB: what.

John glanced down at his desk. Sure enough, there were the disks.

EB: dave, what the hell.  
EB: i could have gotten mine myself, you know.  
TG: are you denying my gesture of good will john  
TG: im wounded  
TG: that hurt john  
TG: why must you hurt me in this way  
TG: also rose your computer has full battery now if you didnt notice  
TT: I did notice. Thank you, Dave.  
TG: see john she appreciates me  
EB: oh my god dave shut up.  
EB: let's just get the game started.  
EB: how about we try a different chain order?  
EB: we could go in reverse order or something. i'll be rose's server player, rose will be dave's, dave will be jade's, and jade will be mine.  
GG: sure!  
TG: sounds good i guess  
TT: I'm all for it.  
EB: then let's get started!

\- ectoBiologist ceased Memo "do the loopy thing" -

* * *

2.10

* * *

Jade sighed, and wiped a hand across her forehead. She opened one of the many computers she kept on her at all times, and left a message in this Loop's memo telling everyone to come to Lofaf. Not surprisingly, Dave suddenly appeared behind her a moment later.

"What's up?" he asked, adjusting his shades.

"Wait till everyone gets here first, and then I'll explain," Jade replied. A moment later, John and Rose came through one of the Gates floating overhead, and landed next to the two.

"What's going on, Jade?" John asked.

"I finally finished breeding the Genesis Frog!" Jade exclaimed. "All we need to do is take it to Skaia and do the Ultimate Alchemy."

"Do we have the grist for it?" Rose asked doubtfully. "I checked our total a while ago, and it seems like we're going to need a lot more."

"Easy," John said, waving a hand. "I can go kill Typheus, Dave's Time powers will give him a huge advantage over Hephaestus, and Jade could probably just blow up Echidna with her Space powers or something."

Jade winced. "I'm not going to do that, John."

"Wait, you can actually do that?" John asked, amazed. "I was just making a random assumption."

"Yes, I can do that, but I'm not going to. I don't like killing things in cold blood."

John shrugged. "...Eh, alright. I can understand that. But..." John looked up, and flew through one of the Gates. Dave's iShades lit up, and gristTorrent appeared on the screens.

"Aaaand five...four...three...two...one," Dave counted down. The bar representing John's total grist cache shot up phenomenally. "God _damn_ that is a lot of grist." A moment later, the bar representing Dave's cache shot up as well. "Welp, there's another stable time loop I need to take care of. Anyways, we have more than enough now." It was at that moment that John came back through the Gate and landed lightly on Lofaf's surface.

Jade stretched. "Alright! Who's ready to make a universe?" The other three raised their hands, and Jade teleported them all to Skaia.

"Damn," Dave said, watching the scene unfold. "That is one big-ass frog."

"No kidding," John said, shielding his eyes.

"I wonder what the species who's destined to play Sburb is like," Rose commented. "Most likely somewhat human-like, with some resemblance to human society. Or maybe not. When you consider the drastic differences between humans and trolls, it could be anything." The others nodded.

"Only one way to find out," Jade said, turning to the large green house shape in front of them. The group stepped toward the door and it opened. A bright light shone through, and the four took a step through. The light faded, and they found themselves...

"Oh HELL no!" John screeched. "No, no no no no NO!" He attempted to fly back toward the door, but it was gone.

"What the actual fuck," Dave said. As far as the eye could see, there were oblique references to Nic Cage films, most notably Con Air. There were even a few pictures of Nic Cage himself on the sides of some buildings.

"Get me out of here!" John screeched. "Somebody, heeeeeelp!"

"How much you wanna bet that John's gonna go insane by the end of the Loop?" Dave asked.

"Twenty boonbanks," Rose said.

"You're on."

* * *

2.11 (OrangeYoshi99)

* * *

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?

Enter name

ZOOSMELL POOPLORD

You notice there is a checkmark next to the name Zoosmell Pooplord.

What.

* * *

2.12 (OrangeYoshi99)

* * *

TG: john  
TG: john  
EB: what?  
TG: i am a girl john  
TG: a fucking girl  
TG: something is wrong

* * *

2.13

* * *

John sighed as he watched the returning Survey Corps expedition. This was one hell of an alternate past Loop, or whatever they were. His memories didn't say a thing about Jade, Rose, or Dave, and he'd never seen these Mikasa or Armin people in past Loops. He was starting to get worried. Where could the others be? He froze as he saw an exchange between one of the Survey Corps members and an old woman. The woman asked the man something about her son, and in response, the man handed her a small bundle. The woman slowly unwrapped the bundle to reveal a severed forearm.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with this Loop?" John muttered under his breath. Mikasa looked at him in surprise.

"You're a Looper?" she asked.

John was confused. "What?"

"You've been repeating your life, over and over again. Right?"

"Yeah, but...how do you know about that? This is the first Loop I've ever seen you. Isn't this just one of those alternate past ones?" John was still very confused.

"Ah, looks like you need the speech," Mikasa said. "Let's go find Armin, he can help explain. I'll go ahead and give you the basics on the way. You see, John, it all started with this tree..."

"...Every thing I know about how reality works is a lie. That's what you're telling me right now."

"Pretty much, yes," Armin replied, storing away the projector in his Subspace Pocket. "Any questions?"

"Yes. You said basically every world I know of that exists in fiction is a real universe, right?" Mikasa nodded. "Does that mean Con Air is one of them."

"Uh...yes?" Armin answered.

John stood slowly, looked up at the heavens, raised his fists, and uttered a scream of rage that would have made Baseline Eren jealous. Then he sat back down. "Just needed to get that out of my system."

"What Loop are you from, anyway?" Mikasa asked. "I don't recognize you from any Loops I've been to."

"I don't know?" John attempted to answer. "Do you want me to describe it or something?" The other two nodded. "Well, the overall death count's pretty similar to this one, much less grim though. Let's see...the original timeline - er, Baseline, whatever - is basically me and my friends playing a videogame that destroys the world and makes new universes out of frogs, then-" John stopped as Mikasa and Armin's pupils shrank alarmingly.

"I don't know what to do."

"Should we tell the Admins?"

"Maybe? What if one of them actually figured out a way to get it Looping?"

"That's very unlikely."

"Doctor Who Looping used to be very unlikely, too, but look at it now."

"This isn't Doctor Who. This is _Homestuck_. One of the _two_ Quarantined Loops in all of Yggdrasil."

"I know that! That doesn't mean it's impossible." John watched this entire conversation with a sense of alarm and confusion.

"I don't understand what's happening right now," John said. The other two turned to him, and Armin sighed.

"Alright, basically, your universe is, or possibly was, one of the only two worlds in existence that were declared absolutely, positively, no buts, no exceptions, no what ifs, unable to Loop," he explained. "So if you couldn't tell, we're kind of concerned by the fact that you've been Looping for as long as you say you have, especially because all four of you seem to have been Looping from the beginning. That has the word glitch written all over it."

John was not sure how to feel. "So...what are you gonna do?"

"I say we let it play out," Armin said. "You've been Looping long enough that the Admins would have noticed by now if you weren't supposed to be." Mikasa nodded.

John just sat and pondered his situation. Then he cringed as he realized that he would have to explain this multiverse stuff to Jade and Dave. They would not be happy knowing that all of their knowledge of reality was a complete lie.

* * *

2.1: Here we go.

2.2: All good things must come to an end.

2.3: We all knew it was going to happen.

2.4: Windy boy is not alone.

2.5: John has had time to refine his power. Lots of time.

2.6: What could be worse than a Sharknado? ...oh.

2.7: He was asking for it when he made the decision.

2.8: That's what ya get.

2.9: Gotta do _something_ to pass the time.

2.10: ...We knew it was going to happen.

2.11: ...We knew it was going to happen.

2.12: _...We knew it was going to happen._

2.13: Welcome to the Multiverse.


End file.
